For those of you who were following my pregnancy journey, it has ended! My birth story and some beautiful home birth pictures are to come soon! For now it is time I pour out my heart to my dearest midwife.

Dear Hannah,

First off I want to start off with, I see you. I see the amazing mom you are to your little ones and how hard you work to make sure that they are cared for, loved, and in the best hands while you are engulfed in your ever demanding but incredibly beautiful life calling. I can only imagine the commitment it takes to head to a birth in the dead of night especially when you need to pack up a sleeping beauty and bring her along. I can imagine the warm relaxed day at home with hubby and the family that can sometimes get interrupted by a woman in labor. With a smile on your face and excitement in your eyes you head to a birth to care for, love and guide a woman through the most vulnerable precious moment in her life, while putting yours to the side for the moment. What you do for pregnant women extends so far beyond the actual service you provide to those women. This is something I didn’t understand until after my birth. With that being said I’d love to explain just why I’m so grateful for you.

I am so grateful that your mom chose the midwife life, I’m even more grateful that your mom decided to include you in births along side her when permissible. The fact that you were raised around birth and home birth is why this life calling comes so incredibly natural to you. From the very first appointment I had with you and your mom when pregnant with Lucca 4 years ago, I knew that I felt comfortable, safe and at ease in your presence. Speaking of that pregnancy, when we decided to switch to a Dr after your mom moved to Colorado, I needed control. I needed to know that I wasn’t birthing with you at home out of default and I can not thank you enough for so graciously understanding that feeling of mine. My heart will be forever grateful for the kind way you handled everything in that transition.

Babies are a blessing all in their own, but my third child offered me a blessing to chose home birth and to chose you. Unlike the care of a traditional OB I was able to text, facebook and call you whenever I felt unsure of something. In my last pregnancies I always needed to put on a face, be brave, researched and well educated before ever even making an appointment to speak with my doctor about something. Having you as my care provider I never once felt the need to put up a front, muster up courage or worry about how educated you thought I was by being sure of something. The respect and evidence based information you provided at my every whim made such an impact in just how much I trusted in myself and my choices. Thank you for always being there, answering even the silliest questions I had for you and for explaining multiple things to me multiple times. Pregnancy brain is so real!

When you decide to take on a client you aren’t just adding another name to a list or agreeing to have certain appointment times open and available. Taking on a client for you means so much more than that, and I assure you that every pregnant woman that you’ve attended in birth knows and feels that wholeheartedly. You hold space for them out of your day but more so you hold emotional space for them letting them vent, worry, laugh, plan, or cry if they need. I never ever once felt rushed during an appointment, granted given how lengthy you knew my appointments had become I’m sure you planned them for the end of the day. There were times my husband would walk out and say, “we’re lucky she didn’t kick us out we took up her whole night”, but I hoped you knew that I needed that time. I hoped you knew that with me being a stay at home mom and not getting much adult time that I really cherished those times we all laughed and joked together. When I was obsessively worried about baby being breech you made a special appointment with me to feel baby and talk about the plans I made given the ever so slight chance baby stayed breech all while I’m sure knowing it wasn’t really an issue yet at that point. Thank you for listening, hearing and sharing that time with me, it meant more to me than you might realize.

My children! Thank you for having a child-friendly atmosphere where my little ones could wrestle, play and be themselves. More importantly, thank you for talking to them as though they are people who also deserve space, adults can often forget this and just ignore little ones and I am grateful that you didn’t. Allowing them to help during labor, giving them pointers to comfort me and helping distract once they got a bit much for the moment were all such pieces of gold within my labor. Every time you and your apprentice left or when we left your house the first words out of their mouth was “I like Hannah and Jenni” and “When are they coming back”. Thank you again for the kindness you showed to my littlest of family members.

I want to also thank you for choosing an apprentice to be at your side that was not only well educated and knew what she was doing but one that you felt was going to relate well with your clients. I am grateful that she was there during my birth and appointments along the way.

Having your friend Sarah at the birth for photography was one of the best choices I made! I am in love with having pictures of my birth and am in love with having those moments forever to cherish, because during the time I was in another place mentally and the seconds and minutes flew by without a lot of my grasp on them. Thank you for that recommendation.

Thank you for choosing your husband, This sounds silly to thank you for but I know how hard it is to find a great one and boy did you. A man who honors the work you do and helps take care of the household and kids when you aren’t able is a gem to find. I appreciate him watching our wandering children at times. I understand how much your other half works (especially in snow filled driveways ha ha) to make your work possible and he deserves a thank you from me as well! Thank you Jesse!

During labor you made sure to alter my birth care to reflect past births and concerns that might show again this time. I’m so glad that you handled everything the way that you did. Calm, prepared and well educated are serious understatements for the way that you conduct yourself during a birth.

Thank you for trusting in yourself, in me, my body and my choices. You joked with us all during the easy contractions and remained quiet while the power that is birth overcame me so I could stay focused. The comfort you offered me during the hardest part of my birth when I just wanted to be done was so needed at that moment. I needed to know that it really was normal to want things to be over with already. Thank you for never doing anything that wasn’t needed. Thank you for knowing exactly what to do and when, when it was needed. Staying with me after the birth until I felt ready for you to leave helped ease my mind. The mothering you offered when I just didn’t think I could go pee was so comforting. I’m not really a person who does a lot of touchy-feely as I just don’t feel familiar with it but I’m so grateful you offered to wash my back in the tub it was just the care I needed to accept at that moment.

Thank you for coming to our home during postpartum appointments so there was no worry of getting out and about with our newest little one. I appreciate the time you took to go over the birth with both me and my husband and answer any questions we had. The fact that all of these things were done in the same caring manner that your best friend would offer was the single most important and cherished portion of everything you provided. I truly felt sad that my pregnancy was over as I feared that we wouldn’t be able to stay in touch and connect regularly. Having had my appointment with you the other day only affirmed that I need not worry about that feeling as we connected and shared more together as real friends. Thank you for seeing me as more than just a client.

Hannah I want to sincerely thank you for everything you’ve done for my family and myself. Thank you for the sacrifices you make so that women have you as an option and so that women have home birth as an option. I know there have to be times when things are just too hard, when stress is high, babysitters don’t line up, babies are teething so you haven’t gotten enough sleep and family time doesn’t get the chance to be on the front burner. What I want you to know is that despite all those things you are doing the right thing, your little girls are going to have such an amazing role model to aspire to in you. A mommy who is helpful, courageous, strong and so full of purpose and love that it flows over to every person she interacts with. Your little girls are incredibly lucky to have you as their mommy and as a midwife.

With Gratitude,

Lakota

I am a stay at home mother of two, who loves to create in every form, from cooking, to henna, to painting or sculpting, creating with my hands is my passion! I love to dance and let loose when the music flows right. Being outside is a special kind of therapy I think humans need more of as well as mindfulness! I love all things new and adventurous and am always looking to experience more of life 🙂