Time. Some say it heals while today, TODAY, I feel like it only kills…….
A little over a year ago, I got a text that shook me to my core. In disbelief, a short little text with very few words let my husband and I know that a very dear family friend was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. I still remember exactly where I was standing when I read those words and I immediately broke down crying. In my head, I just couldn’t wrap my thoughts around this new, scary, and very ugly truth. This is the woman I’ve confided in, turned to, and cherished for so many years. When I was immobile with morning sickness and in desperate need of IV fluids, her husband, daughter, and herself traveled through a snow storm to stay with our kids so I could make my way in to the hospital for relief. This new reality JUST…COULDN’T…BE…TRUE.
However, the next time we saw them, she seemed, for the most part, fine. Perhaps a little tired, definitely not feeling 100%, but it was easy to convince myself that my small little world had not been shaken, would not come crashing down.
Over the next few months, I had some really great conversations with her and she shared that, even with treatment, the doctors offered no hope and, perhaps, just a little more time. So while this was a hard bite to swallow, she seemed at peace to continue living life with her family, friends, and work schedule, staying as normal as possible. As normal as doctor appointments and chemo treatments allow with all the ups, downs, and side effects.
As time continued, there were days where I’d completely fool myself and pretend that nothing was wrong. That nothing was different. That the woman who has been there for me for the past 16+ years just may not get the miracle I had been praying for.
Then today happened. Another text. Time is running out and hospice care has been called. It’s just not fair. This woman has done nothing but give and serve her whole life. If anyone needed something, this is the family they called. Whether their house needed new paint, floors needed to be redone, or remodeling was under way, the three of them would be there bright and early, lending their hands, support, and love. She is so selfless.
Flowers don’t last forever and some times time doesn’t heal. She is one of my greatest friends and it’s just…not…fair.
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I’m a city girl turned country by my awesome husband and we have three busy boys and two darling daughters. I love spending time with my family, reading Karen Kingsbury novels, and catching up with friends while our kiddos have play dates. I’m blessed beyond measure and can’t wait to see what God has in store.
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This post currently has 8 responses.
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Amber Ludwig
Cancer is such an awful b***h!! I swear it picks the most amazing people 🙁 Im so sorry. But how lucky are you to have known someone so special and so amazing that will stick with you forever!!
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Christina A.
I’m so sorry Miranda! I understand…sometimes it just isn’t fair…I have really been there! We have to find some solace somewhere that things happen for some reason. #mythoughts 🙂 #hugs!
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Dandi D
My grandma passed away from cancer when I was 15 and that was really hard for me.
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Christina G.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer really does suck.
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Deb E
Before I went into nursing, I was a hospital nutritionist and the cancer floor was one of my patient responsibilities. It is heartbreaking to see people struggle so with the disease but at the same time, how they are able to be at peace with it. To pass on peacefully is what I would hope for as well.
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kathy downey
I’m sorry to hear about your friend,feeling the pain in your post made me cry,i have felt your pain its so hard to get past it,you never forget but it does get a bit easier overtime ,hugs.
It’s never fair when someone you love gets sick and dies. I’ve lost several good friends that way.